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COFFEE IS BETTER THAN MEN

you can enjoy it year in year out

Its stains washout

Will always wait patiently for you

Its never has a headache

Does not get jealous when another is grabbed.

You can have more than one cup a night and never feel guilty.

Never changes its mind

Can’t get upset when you are late

Never complains about your ways

Never uses you and dump you

Can never yell at you

Won’t smoke in your car

Always ready to leave on time

Reasons we do more coffee than men.

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OUR LOVE IS A BEAUTFUL THING TO SEE
Those that see us say
Our love is a beautiful thing to see
Those that hear about us say
We are acting a must watch film
Because of how free we are with each other
The way we walk down Kampala road arm in arm
How we go shopping even nothing and the evening road walks
The other Saturday we sauntered off to the Sheraton gardens
Where we spent a lazy afternoon
With my face like a leaf curled on your lap
And the other Friday evening we went shopping for your suits
Then I was late for my bus….nothing is more memorable than the good bye kiss,
We shared at the street as the world looked at us
It was going to be a long weekend without seeing you.
The first day we met at the lit fare then we melted in each other’s arm
As if we had known ourselves for a decade
That’s why they conclude that out love is a beautiful
Thing to look at.

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Saying it like I feel -review.

Satirical work is so tricky to read for it really demands enough of ones concentration as they should be able to scratch beyond the surface. The author of such must be in good position to craft words with great care but creative enough to communicate to the reader and drive their point home. From the title to the way the topics were selected, this is book of its kind.Written in a lucid manner,  it’s about issues around us, those that we have at one point”madly” reacted to all over the press, social media etc and then gone silent as if we have accepted them to happen the way they are.
Spire did an excellent job putting them together in his “Saying it like I feel”. I must say he penetrated our hearts and minds then put whatever thought, feeling and emotions he found there on paper being the master of books, pens and pencils. He runs us through Uganda, East Africa and Africa as a citizen. Each story very well thought out, thoroughly digging in to the history of certain events, with a reach diction and no word was put to waste. He encourages opinion in his work and doesn’t just make you believe things the way they are written or said. This is seen in some responses to his pieces as in this dear book.
Literally, the book  creates a mind discussion between the reader, the book 📚 itself and the author. Feel free to nod your head either in agreement or disagreement where need be like i did as i went through the entire book which made it so captivating. In “Saying it like I feel”, Spire puts before you questions that you may hardly answer. Not because you can’t but because they got different answers depending on who is approaching them. Turn with me to page 95…he asked “Where does this inferiority complex come from?” As if that was not enough, he came again  “Where does this  dissatisfaction with our identity come from?” Believe me or not those have always gone unclearly answered. See how we love the Western names at the expense of our ‘botanical names’ a friend calls her African name. He encourages you to discourage bleaching ‘always believe in yourself ‘ as in the other article of January 15, 2016 in  the Observer.
In the other piece he looks at how we have ‘englishlised’ the names of local places of Namugoungo, jinjau, mention it. As you continue turning pages, please catch the other piece under Mr. President, you are angry 😠 but we are far more annoyed. Alongside Tanzanians should stop provoking us. “make no mistake to imagine that since our president has never made such a surprise visit in 30 years at our Mulago national hospital means he does not care for us and our health. Would our president’s security detail fit in those wards? … our dear liberator would have nowhere to step.” Just make sure you grab your copy. Hope you enjoy it more than I did. Copies are at book point on village mall in Bugolobi and the Uganda society library at the Uganda museum.

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It Ain’t Our Fault!

It seems we have failed to understand

the goodness and beauty that is held

in our friendship.

Just a day, a minute, one word

And all was ruined…

But we do not seem to know that,

the fault ain’t ours.

The tears we shade every other day

will one day be washed by the rain ☔  some night.

and as the sun rises the next day,

the truth shall be revealed.

Then you will get to know and believe that indeed it ain’t our fault.

The fault is the word’s,

he ruined what we took for trust, love and the truth

Which we held in our friendship.

An afternoon with Giraffes.

Giraffes are super cool and there isn’t so many places in the world that you can see and chill with them.
The world has gone silent for the passed two months now, the silence has actually become tangible. We are still figuring out what the new normal shall look like. Scrolling through our galleries and different archives, navigating with smiles and ignoring this silence for a moment. Landing on pictures that give us hope that traveling and seeing the world, shall be apart of the new normal.
Anyways, before COVID 19 crowded the air we breathe, we made so many fantastic memories. Now is a time for us to go through our galleries, pose a moment, reflect and replay the moments again. I have exactly been doing so…for reasons I also don’t know! I am loving the memories from my experience at the Giraffe center in Nairobi.

The whole afternoon is so evocative on my mind, making me feel like I was there yesterday. Maybe because it was the last time I traveled! It actually got me thinking if I knew this would be my last time to travel before the world goes on lockdown. I would’ve dressed up a bit more for the occasion. Like put on some cool heals, have some make up done, and the likes. Well…, well, I enjoyed the company of the giraffes whole afternoon, which is most important now.😎
We drove through Langata that fine afternoon, all way down to Karen a district of Nairobi. As peaceful and calm as we could breathe. It felt like a really safe place, safe enough that one would assume they are going to meet up with their maker. The trees just praising the maker as the birds sung perfectly as if at a final rehearsal for a Sunday service.🥰
A midst such serenity, we got to the Nairobi Giraffe Center. Made our payments at the entrance of about 500 Kshs. We were then given giraffe food to feed them whenever they came close. We were asked not to taste it…it has the colour and texture of cereal! I was tempted to get it close to my mouth and my taste-buds found that it tasted like sawdust. 😂😂 Getting closer to our hosts (the giraffes), all so cool. Their long legs, distinctive spotted pattern and long neck find you clapping for mother nature. They looked at me and I felt my blood curdle. Yet they were fearless. I feared them at first.
One is supposed to call them by name. We had Helen, Lynn, Josh and others. They all swung their bodies and legs in unison, towards their guests. When giraffes move,they move with both legs on one side of their body and then the other side which seemed unusual to me. When they drew closer, we were to try and feed them as we bond. Like I said, I was a little tense but later found it more interesting. Chilling with Lynn the oldest, biggest and most charming at the center. You were supposed to give one pallet of food at a time and you put it direct to the Giraffe’s long tongue. Lynn also loves kissing we were told,💋 so one would put food on their mouth and she picks it with ease. Saliva is antiseptic so there was no need to worry.
At the giraffe center also stands trees that caught my attention they are named first in Swahili, then given a name according to another Kenyan tribe then also named according to the country where the person who planted them resides. Then some craft shops and a restaurant.

Calling on Lynn, the giraffe so I can feed her..
Giraffe food tastes like sawdust..🤓🤭
All long as it could stand proud
Hellen the giraffe taking on my background.
…down the Karen Streets…
Super cool animals under the sun

Side note; once travel is ok’ed again, I want to go to my favourite site in Uganda. I will have to dress up on heels and my best jeans, a nice tee or even dress, this shall also work for flights because travel is a special occasion anyway.

WE FLIPPED THE BOAT WITH US:

“Decision is the spark that ignites action. Until a decision is made, nothing happens…Decision is the courageous facing of issues, knowing that if they are not faced, problems will remain forever unanswered.” Wilfred A. Peterson

We did a number of drills, at some point swam in the Nile, being a little more adventurous; playing with running water is not like munching food. Anyways, we all came out safe and sound, just ticking the activity off our bucket-lists.
We were picked up from Java house along Lugogo bypass at around 17:00hours, followed Jinja road all way through the Mabira to the adventure capital in Jinja. It was at the Raft Uganda reception that we were served breakfast. This doubled as the starting point; all clad in our water friendly attire, with no jewelry whatsoever, we were briefed about what to do and took position.
The source of the Nile is one of the most spectacular White-water rafting destinations in the world. Yes, my country is really endowed…we had a full-day five grade rafting, spending close to seven hours on the Nile. It was a full intense rapid experience. Us who sat on the left side of the boat often fell off at every rapid, this seemed really fun but left our buddies on the right side really terrified. At the second rapid, Petra and I flipped off the boat into the water. We then lost the angle of the boat but swam our way and found it. One thing I can assure you, its always team work on that boat. The life jackets and helmets play a big role in keeping one safe. Listen to your instructor or guide carefully and just trust your gut. May it also be known that rafting is not just for those who can swim. Even those without the skill can do the sport. At the third rapid, we flipped the boat with us, flew off and all got into the water, the kayaker was goofing around but tried to catch up with us although some of us went through the rapid alone. It was huge and terrifying yet really awesome and later so memorable. We swam to the ‘UN boat’ as they referred to it, as the guide also helped us out. Lucky enough everyone on our boat knew how swim. The ‘UN boat’ is like the reserve boat that has extra equipment. More of the rescue boat in circumstances like when people flip off their boat. Each boat also has a Kayaker who goes alongside to help in case of anything that may go south. After tickling our adrenaline a little, we then got off the boat after all was calm and did some swimming in the Nile. ( All part of the adventure-it was optional). This was another great and prestigious experience. We were then instructed to get back on to the boat for some “sugars”. Raft Uganda offers pineapple and some sweet bananas midway and this is also considered rest time – still on the Nile. Shortly after, it was time for us experience the last two rapids then logout and have lunch.
As it all ended and everyone was ready to go for lunch, the guide said there was an ungraded rapid just down the river that we could try if we didn’t tell anyone. So I will not tell you much about it but we all risked it and came out really safe.

The experiences gave meaning to the decision we made.

@Purplewrites

…trust your gut…
Activity was swimming in the Nile
We saw, fear but experienced
The team taking instructions
The decision was worth a shot.
The sugar break…call it refueling moment.
We flipped the boat with us…
Onto the UN boat we took refuge..😂🥰
Instructions were back, forward and down.
Keeping it left all through
…the awesome rafting buddies…

SATURDAY IS LAUNDRY DAY OVER HERE!

Hey readers, its been a while. Been and still in my most busy year of life. I hope you are liking the new year and decade already.

Well, here a fews don’ts as regards to laundry keeping, making us look forward to a great laundry time at home.

1. Keep the clothes inside out always. This will help you avoid pimples that develop on cotton fabric. Ever found your clothes with white staff out of nowhere? That the cotton fabric trying to let you know how you should have kept them inside out.

2. Sort clothes from bright colors to dull colors. Well, you can wash the dull ones first so you don’t feel racesist. But ensure that you wash separately. Don’t include small items like underwear in the load.

3. Sort the muddy from lightly soiled, pieces amd abrasive fabric. First it helps you start with either the lightly soiled as a motivation or to start with the muddy when you still have the energy.

4. Don’t mix socks with the rest of the clothes. This is the genesis of flashing them in the machine or pouring them out as you dispose off the dirty water.

5. Don’t keep the zipper open. Lose zipper can snag clothes. The zipper may also cause you injuries as you wash. Also remember to have your bras unclipped if any!

6. Don’t keep the shirts buttoned. Unlike zippers, buttons should not be fastened. Fastening can damage the buttons and buttonholes as well. Also mind the collar and cuff.

7. Don’t put detergent direct to the clothes. It will help you keep them in there original color.

8. Good music makes laundry time more fun and interesting. I often liten to jazz music if not podcasts!

9. Don’t spread black and brown clothes under direct sunlight. Direct sunlightbis the reason they tend to fed away.

10. Don’t allow clothes dry to full capacity in direct sunlight. This will make ironing a hard task.

Next time we shall do the does and then shoe cleaning.

I Am A Student of Life.

There are so many great lessons we all learn from life. I personally made a list with some of the most important ones so far, lessons that had a great impact on my life. These powerful lessons have helped me become the person I am today. I know there are more to come and I am ready, opened and receptive to them all. 🙂

  • Courage is not the absence of fear.

Fear, that crazy fear who won’t allow us to move forward, who won’t allow us to grow and transform our lives and of those around us will always be present in our lives. Even though many of us know that fear does not exist and that fear is only in our mind, we choose to be paralyzed by it and we choose to allow it to control our lives, our dreams, our goals and the level of our happiness. Fear will be present whenever you want to stretch, whenever you want to get out of your comfort zone and whenever you want to do more, be more, have more. What we need to do is look beyond it, and always be aware of the fact that most of the things we fear never happen, because FEAR is nothing more than False Expectation Appearing Real.

  • We get treated in life the way we teach others to treat us.

It all starts with self-love. If you don’t have the love for yourself, how can you expect to get it from somebody else? Love yourself and others will love you also. People will treat you the way you allow them to treat you. Respect and love yourself and others will do the same.

  • Loneliness is different from solitude.

There is a difference between being lonely and being in solitude. When you are in solitude, you take advantage of it to get in touch with your inner self, to meditate and to quiet your mind, and that constant need to be around others in order for you to no longer feel lonely, will disappear. If you like yourself, if you have no problem with your own person, if you have accepted yourself completely, you will be content with having some quiet time, away from all the noise. You will feel happy when alone and also when surrounded by other people. Sometimes we the world so much and it’s all taken for granted. This is when you need some me time off.

  • Forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself.

To be at peace, to be happy and to be able to sleep at night. You don’t forgive because you are weak but because you are strong enough to realize that only by giving up on resentment will you be happy. If you hold on to poisonous thoughts like hate, anger, and resentment toward someone, you will end up poisoning yourself more than you poison the other person, and you will be very unhappy.

  • People deserve a second chance.

The moment you forgive somebody, chances are that you will also give them a second chance, a chance to be near you, without trying to remind them of what they did to you, treating them not as they are, or as they once were, but rather as you want them to be. By doing this, you are also allowing them to grow and to become better and better every day. Your ego might tell you to “let these people go” but what does your heart tell you? We are all humans, we all make mistakes, and we all deserve a second chance, and why not, maybe a third,and fourth…

  • There are no mistakes, only lessons we need to master.

If you learn from everything that happens to you, you will discover that there is no such thing as mistakes, only lessons to be learned. Answers if you don’t, chances are that your life will look at 40 the same way it did when you were 20. Even out growing friends is not a mistake…

  • Life is all about the journey and less about the destination.

A lot of times we get so focused on our big dreams and goals, that we forget to enjoy this journey called life. So, take a deep cleansing breath and allow yourself to be present in everything you do. Allow yourself to enjoy each second of your life – to observe the world around you, the people present in your life and the beauty that is present within and all around you…

  • Patience is a virtue.

In order for things to happen, in order for anything to happen, we need to be patient. We first plant the seed of greatness and then we wait for it to grow, we allow it to grow; we take care of it and we protect it. Great things take time and we need to learn how to give time, time.

  • What you resist, persists.

What you focus on expands and what you resist, not only does it persist, but it also grows in size. And if you want to shrink something and make it disappear from your life, you need to stop feeding it by fighting against it.

  • Our attitude toward life will determine life’s attitude toward us.

If you think life is unfair, and that bad thing always happen to you, chances are that life will treat you unfairly, and you will always have many reasons to complain about. Because just how there is a law of gravity, there is also a law of attraction, and based on this law, you attract in your life that which you think about all day long, you attract that which you are, because you see, like attracts like.

  • The more we express our gratitude, the more things we will have to be grateful for.

The law of attraction works in all that is good and also in all that is bad, and it’s only up to us whether we choose to focus our attention on the negative or on the positive. Focus your attention on the many great things you have and you are grateful for, and you will see that the more you do that, the more reasons you will have to express your gratitude for.

The Dérive in me.

One of the bags I carry when travelling.

Travelling is generally messy. It’s like ordering for pasta on a first date. Because then you have to have your cutlery game right! There is a danger of you being so nervous and anxious to even use them well and you end up with the knife and fork in the wrong hands, then the fork falls unnecessarily! This is like the third time the waiter is giving you another one. Then she says you may have to think of washing hands and go the African way.” Be yourself, feel free” she adds. Isn’t that being too comfortable too soon?

Travelling is messy because you never know who you will meet, who you will seat next to when travelling; the seating arrangement on most transport vessels is not like in church where you can always move. In the plane you might sit next to someone who drinks throughout, which means you have to stand up and let them pass each time they have to go empty their bladder.Or an old lady who wants to hold your hand during take-off.

Random picture inside Jambo jet…

I once sat on a bus for a 12-hour journey with someone who talked on phone most of the hours. It was so irritating! She was a loud speaker that she out competed my headphones. Always updated the people she called how far we had gone, about the man we nearly knocked, about the subaru that was over taking and the likes. Another time it was someone who talked to me and could not stop until I would either nod off as if he first wanted to see a bleeding eardrum because of constant sound intake.

At every trip be sure to meet different people!

If you are careless, you also have to know where your passport is at all times. I advise you carry a smallbag, (preferably a waist bag) where you can have all documents and cash plus phone. That is what I may call having it all in order. Also have your first aid kit in an arm stretch distance all the time. You never know what can happen. Have your swim army knife and other security tools within reach for any surprises.

With my waist bag, I have it all in order!

Most importantly know where you placed you bag, its safer to have a bright luggage tag for easy identification. I personally prefer carry Kitenge fabricated bags. That one I can see it from a distance as it has a unique print. Even when another person has a similar bag, at least the print is different.

With my bag made from African fabric (kitenge)

Knowing your travel style!

Forget what you’ve seen in all the hand-holding social media posts with cheesy captions thrown underneath…😎
It takes a few trips for you to realize that you have your own style of travelling. You may be the traveler who enjoys more historical and cultural sightseeing, whereas your shopaholic travel buddy will lookout for the local markets or luxury brand avenues. You may be one who jut enjoys keeping in your hotel room and reading then start the day later! The kind that will keep your notebook closer…!

…let’s not forget about the foodies who will try authentic and local eateries and explore every street food menu there is.

Sea food (octopus)

The more you travel the more you’ll learn about these different types of travellers, and find out nobody can travel “wrong”, people explore the world differently. What’s the best way to make sure everyone enjoys a trip together? First, knowing what your own travel style is. Then, make sure everyone has time to accommodate their own interests. This has got me visit churches/ cathedrals for my travel buddy was the kind who loved to fellowship with In the area we have chosen to tour.

You most likely will feel unsafe or uncomfortable at some points in your journey. If Google maps led you to a sketchy street amidst estates with poor lighting, take a deep breath to relax you then TRUST YOUR GUT. I can’t emphasize this enough! There are so many reasons why people won’t trust their instincts when they just don’t feel good about the environment they’re in.

Whether it’s because you’re running late for a tour, or you can’t find your hotel, or you’re with a group of people who are trying to play it cool and pushing you to be “adventurous”, understand that there are limits between being spontaneous and being reckless – always play it safe!😏

Keeping good vibes with your travel buddy can be one tough part on a trip. Forget what you’ve seen in all the hand-holding social media posts with cheesy captions entered underneath. Instead, try talking to someone about their experience travelling with others abroad. What you’ll quickly discover is that everyone has gotten into at least one fight with their travel partners, if not plenty! This is totally normal for people who are new to travelling.

My travel buddy will take you how impatient and anxious I often got and how I have improved over time. In her words ‘we leave town so happy but Purple is always frustrated by my late coming ‘. Just remember to take away those lessons you learned about yourself and others so your future trips can slowly become more enjoyable!
You might come back broke and way over your budget. Whether you’re a heavy spender or a penny-pincher, you’re guaranteed to throw your budget out the window at some point during a trip. Why? Because everyone always finds it less hard if they really want to buy, eat or do something they love while on a trip. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, we all have guilty pleasures or we’re all super passionate about something that deserves some broken rules for. It’s important to remember when you look back at the disaster that is your credit card bill, that the beauty of travelling is in the experiences you have that change YOU as a person. I am the kind that likes buying souvenirs for loved ones back home. This often gets me out of my budget but at the same time rests my soul.

Travelling teaches you A LOT about your personality, your passions (especially ones you never knew you had), and exposes you to a world of new people, languages, foods and cultures. You might have a few months of intense budgeting to follow, but you’ll have an endless amount of new memories, knowledge and friendships you’ve gained that really does make it all worth it.

Adjusting back to your “normal life” becomes hard. I don’t mean this in the sense that you decide to quite your 9-5 and live a life of adventure or luxury. Instead, it sort of becomes harder for you to stay who you were before you left. You might have changed because you made a new friend that you really care about now, and feel like you left a part of you behind. You could have had a whole month long away so you see the world from a completely different perspective. Whatever your reasons may be, take a moment of gratitude to appreciate the privilege of travelling to a new place, feeling accepted into that culture and being open-minded enough to accept and love it as well, no matter how different from your own reality. Leaving that behind isn’t just leaving the vacation and downtime behind, you’re also leaving what made you grow as a person in the time that you did, and have new opinions, views and memories to bring back with you. So even though your back, that whole experience changes your life for the better, and makes it harder to go back to your “normal life”.
Feeling sad and lonely when you come back home is also fine. It’s crucial that people realize this is a real and absolutely normal thing. It actually took me a few trips to even recognize that I wasn’t feeling too great when I came back. I couldn’t put my finger on why I had such an amazing and memorable trip, yet I was feeling so out of touch and sad with my own life back home. The truth is, it felt like I broke up with something – and I know this sounds weird for those who aren’t familiar with the feeling, but trust me when I tell you, it’s real.

Nobody will understand the little things, the habits you picked up, the unexpected friendships. It’s the fact those things that life made happen, not planned or intentional that make it feel like “it was meant to be this way”. That is what makes it feel like a break up. To this day, I can’t let go of this memory I have from when I spent a whole fortnight in Tanzania on my first Solo trip. I would wake up every morning for breakfast at a setting over looking animals of the Serengeti park and sip a fresh cappuccino while I watched the sunrise. As much as I tried to like the fine cappuccinos back home, every sip would trigger the real taste back in the wild, and what a dream it felt like just to enjoy that the simplicity of that experience every morning.

@Purplewrites

Letting go and Moving on!

I have realized I have to let go of some people and somethings in my life. I am one person who has a problem letting go; be it a parson or anything in my possession and moving on is the hardest experience ever under the sun. Sometimes I still wear my won out shoes or use my tattered bag, clothes because I easily get attached. You just don’t know or wish to imagine how I feel when I must let go of some people.

The guilt of trying to recycle relationships that really need to be replaced for you must stop holding on to certain friends; There are those times when all your energy is sucked out and the environment becomes toxic for you then the relationship gets one sided and negativity starts to affect you physically, that time when you very much want to connect with people but they can’t let you. With the difficult in letting go. The guilt of putting on one nightie for years; I often make fun of myself in the house that that’s why I hold on to the same dreams/ nightmares. I sense the hardship of knowing that I am the only one left holding on before it’s always too late.

It’s at this point that I also start to draw borders as well for my own strength when all is gone. I am a very intuitive person; you don’t have to say a word. You don’t have to give me an explanation for I can read between lines and body language, one who detects when something is going on behind my back. I sense awkwardness no matter how faint, hostility no matter how much you cover it up, with simply a casual conversation or a forced smile.

There is a season for everything; maybe their time in our lives is passed for they may have already served their purpose and so it’s healthier and better for us to separate instead of hurting each other by holding on to nothing. But with all this I still find it hard to let go…even when I eventually do.

Another year is here


I am here wondering if I should refer to these as new year resolutions! 😏Before this year I just claimed that it was kind of stupid and laughed every time I saw or heard people talk about resolutions. This was probably because I thought that I could never be capable of sticking to something for a couple days let alone a whole year.

2018 was full of challenges. I found about nine months of the year mentally, emotionally and maybe physically draining. It was in that year that I met a sweet human who has helped me work on an enthralling character I want for myself. I had to change the way I see certain things, scrape off some routines, although some walls still seem so high to break…this gets me helpless at times. “Be sweet human still reminds me that it’s one step at a time!” In the days leading up to the new year, however, my mindset completely changed. I decided that I refuse to live with the constant fear. I refuse to let these struggles define me and make me feel insignificant. I am confident that while I might have some off days in 2019, I can turn this around for myself and fill my days with happiness and accomplishments. I refuse to live another day the way that I lived some days in 2018.

1.Love myself even on the bad days: 😍I know that everything that I wrote in the previous paragraph might sound idealistic, but I’m not naive enough to think that every day is going to be positive. I know that I will have some days where I just can’t get out of bed to start my day…and that is okay. I am going to stop beating myself up for things that I just can’t control. On those bad days, I am going to let myself do whatever my body is telling me to do whether it is to go get a caramel macchiato or cappuccino at my favorite coffee shop. Be it so! I am going to do the best that I can with the circumstances that I am given but still never surrender to any sort of anxiety. I am in control of those bad days now. I will try So much to think about me more than others…!👥

2. Work on my eating habits:😜 This is one… I am willing to fake it until I make it!, I have wanted to do this for a while and now I am so excited to have it among my goals. I have no idea how it is going to play out for me but for now, I can already feel good for I am going to stop the excuse of “I am lazy to chew” and that is all that matters. Well, if I chew and get tired I promise not to be mad at myself for I will have tried. I am excited to see how much my health and fitness will improve within a year.

3. Work out at least two times a week: 👯This one sounds like the typical New Years resolution, but it is very necessary. I used to be very active and healthy, but as soon as I started to feel like shit every single day I just stopped it all. It seemed very rational at the time, but I was making the anxiety way worse by doing so. Sweet human always tells me how working out is therapy. Well, it used to be then! Whenever I work out I always feel so much happier, healthier, and confident which really sets the pace for the rest of my day. I have been working out in the last weeks of the year and I can already feel such a difference in my body and my mind. Yesterday I had my first gym session and it seemed soul refilling.

This year I am going to regain the strength that I lost both mentally and physically. I am also planning on joining a dance class. Many of you who have had one on one with me know that I promise to do my maiden dance on my wedding day…hehe I am starting to practice this year.💃

4. Focus on Academics: 📚As we broke off for holidays, sweet human told me to be positive about my Masters. I have had so much holding me back that prevented me from showing what I can really do. My grades heavily created such a vicious cycle of anxiety. They were not that bad but I don’t know why I was not content! It sucks that I am going through this at such a critical point in my adult life but it is what it is and I have to move on and do my best from there. I am excited to focus on academics and get my grades up to my potential. I know that it won’t be easy and I will have to work harder than I have ever before but like I said, I refuse to let my challenges hold me back any longer.

I am going to try everything within my jurisdictions and leave what I can’t. This way I shall try to fight perfectionism as well!😏
So there you have it, four constant goals that I have for 2019 which I may also carry into years after. I am feeling so positive and optimistic about this year and I can’t wait to see my growth. To go along with that, I am also starting a bullet journal to stay organized and track my progress throughout the year. I will probably be posting about that soon once I have it all complete.

All I can say… You are in control even if you don’t feel like it and it is never too late to work on a character you want.

“Excellence we can reach for but perfection is God’s business! ”

Christmas away from home!

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Fortunately my blog has been active over the holidays. I’m sure you all know how it goes. The holidays are an extremely busy time for everyone, we all scramble to get the perfect gifts, make the perfect food, and have the perfect parties. In some ways I also got caught up in all the festivities. But for me this was time to write even more. However, in a way, the Christmas holidays hasn’t felt like one this year.
I’m not sure what it is about this holiday season. Maybe because the holiday season seems so short, maybe because I didn’t make it home until the 23rd for just hours to say hi to family, or maybe because my favorite nephew was unwell with a broken limb, or maybe because I got sick during the festive days.
But why is it that being away from close family make the Christmas Holidays not seem like one? I’ve heard it all before, Christmas isn’t about the decorations or the gifts, it’s about spending time with the people you love and I love myself so I could spend the season with self. Besides it was not my first time having Christmas away from home. Well, we live in a world, and a society where the sole purpose of Christmas is to live lavishly.

December chills with home boys!

There are people that have so much debt after buying Christmas decorations that they have to take out loans in order to survive. Then there are others that buy a whole new set of Christmas decorations every year in order to have the best lights, and the most festive set up. Adults will do all it takes to travel up country and will put out all their savings just to send it during the season! Kids are obsessed with Santa, and they wait all year, and specifically all month to wake up and find thousands worth of prettily wrapped packages under their trees and in their sockings.
Why are we so obsessed with Christmas? I honestly felt like this Christmas wasn’t a true Christmas, only because the decorations were minimal or non-existent in town, i was feeling sickish and the church sermon didn’t take long making it feel ordinary. I was actually a little upset about this Christmas up until about a day ago.
I had to take some time to reflect on my feelings about this Christmas. I went for steam a day before, woke up to a movie then a call from a good friend who encouraged me to move out, however I really had extravagant gifts, my family didn’t follow the traditions that we usually do as much this Christmas. Are those the important things? Have I really become so wrapped up in this world that I was unable to recognize the blessings of the Christmas season?
I had quality time with my family, we ate together, read some books with my nephews, taught the little boys now to bake cookies, and played several games with my sisters. We as a family got to have a wonderful extended family dinner on several days in the season. And looking back the December was not terrible at all, the months has been wonderful. That’s why I easily came up a the decision to have Christmas at my house.
So what does this all mean? Well, I challenge you all to step back at Christmas. Maybe as mothers stop worrying about making everything perfect, from food, to decorations, to gifts, and just enjoy the time with your families. As fathers, enjoy the days or even hours that you get to have as a break from work, to spend quality time with your family. And as children, remembering that Christmas is not all about the presents, even though the presents are so much fun, and not obsess over what you wanted as apposed to what you got. Just enjoy Christmas for what it truly is, a time when we celebrate life and crown the year in our own way.I did it alone for the second time and I liked ever bit and it was perfect.

Christmas Where are you?

all the Christmas gifts

Christmas is less than one week away. I haven’t put a single decoration up. I haven’t wanted to even think about Christmas. Wasn’t Christmas just here? I mean what happened? How did it sneak up on me again so quickly? My Sister was asking me last month what I was doing for Christmas. I told her I didn’t know.
Christmas always comes a month and a few days after my birthday,an annual family thanksgiving and shortly after Black Friday. I am not always ready. I am not a Black Friday shopper either.
So, what is my problem?

At this stage in my life I am simply burned out on Christmas. I have had end of year parties, poetry recitals to attend, gifts exchanges with friends and family, work potlucks I had to cook for, all the present wrapping, baking and shopping etc.…I had to get the perfect picture of my parents so I can make Christmas cards and address them by hand get it sent on time. As I was buying all of these gifts because it is supposedly “thoughtful” and the season to give, I kept thinking if the people I am buying the gifts for need them anyway!
In the last few days, I spent $140 in literally 10 minutes online. That was only on gifts for each of my family members. They need them more because one of their “Love Languages” is gifts. Well not them alone, I am no better…gifts is a “language” I do much understand . Explains why I gift to all those who matter within my cicrle any time of the year. I am almost done with the shopping…but still there is nothing to get me in the mood for Christmas yet!

My family seems a little upset with my attitude. Just called them to address them about how I am cancelling Christmas again. I spent most of my November and part of this month trying to help my sister put her wedding together. Which means I have had more time with them this season than before. They responded asking if I am well. I told them I am not feeling depressed. I am not feeling angry or scrooge like. In fact, I am feeling calmer in this month of December than I ever have in the past.

I will put up my artificial tree this weekend decorate it with socks and some gifts below it. I will not go overboard with my decorating. In the past my house looked like Santa Clause threw up in it. I will not watch every single holiday movie as I have done in past years. But I will cook, read and take enough wine. I will avoid coffee.

I decided for the first year ever not to attend any of the endless holiday work parties. My co-workers are calling me by the name of a horrible wretch of a woman who once worked with us. Did that sway me in any way? No, it did not. Do I feel bad at all for not going to any of the Holiday parties? I don’t feel the least bit bad. In fact, quite the opposite, I feel GREAT. I feel relieved. I am not a very social person and I prefer much smaller and more intimate gatherings and I see these people almost every day of my life. It is plenty believe me.
What can I do to find true meaning for Christmas this year so that I don’t disappoint my loved ones who like Christmas?

I will look back and remember my best moments of Christmas and try to emphasize the things that mean the most to me. Tradition is one. Though things change over the years and especially after I moved out, I have kept a couple traditions that mean a lot to me and changed some. I will make my rolled-out sugar cookies. I love to eat them, and I only get them once per year. The cat and I will spend time together. I love Christmas music (for a few weeks only) and I have some favorites that I listen to every year. I would like to use this as a time to really slow down and think of the people that I love. I want to cook and eat good food. I will have quality time with my nephews oh I adore those boys!

Joe & Marcus are a piece of my soul

I will check on family also_this is the greatest gift in the world to me.
I will then get back and spend time with myself. I intend to use this as a time to think of the things in my life that I am grateful for. I am truly very lucky to have all that I have. I will make sure I get out for some fresh air and maybe take walks and exercise a bit being appreciative of my health and the beauty in nature. I will use Christmas as a time to remember. To remember the people that I love dearly and spent past Christmases. I will find peace this year. Maybe, just maybe this year like I did last year. 😉

December is unto us!

Festivals have become a joke if not a mockery. Gone are the days when we all looked up to the
next festive day like the holy grail. If my memory serves me right, it was on such days that we
got new clothes, shoes and the likes. Growing up, i looked at such days as days to put on a
white pantie, visited relatives and took ice cream. Well,unlike my pears, soda and meat were
present at sunday lunch and after we had brought good grades home. So ice cream and
chocolate were the special meal for a festive days and rides with parents anyday.
We are lost to the joy of the good old thick of merry living and festive celebrating. December is
already here but just like most of my workmates, many of you are thinking about just drinking
and staying out till late.What happened to festive time being set aside for family? Well, they say
“If you can’t have it the good old way then at least have it the simple realistic way.” You owe it to
yourself to enjoy moments and not the facades.
What really happened to those truly sacred festive celebrating days? How humanity becomes
so empty and unreal? Personally, I spend most of my festive period either in my house, with
family or once in a blue moon in a random bar, all by myself listening to loud music over some
wine.It’s in the festive days that my flowers know how much I love and my cat gets to bond with
me.This is that period of the year when I don’t travel. Trying not to be judgmental of the other
dweller in my vicinity in case the wine gets the best of me. I have made it a point to understand
myself. Not just what others know about me or what I know I’m capable of but truly and deeply
being one with myself. In this quest so have I learned the sad reality of true festive celebrating
died with the good men my father always convinces me that they still live.

Life…

Musings

What is Life?
An hour-glass on the steady run,
A mist retreating from the morning sun,
A dew drop on the fall.

A minute’s pause, a moment’s thought.
A Lover’s troth, a kiss that never lasts.
An eye blink, the last breath.

A bubble on the stream,
Petrichor in the air,
Surreptitious gazes, desire.

The puffing gale of morn,
A cobweb, hiding disappointment’s thorn,
A mother’s breast.
A busy, bustling, still-repeated dream.

What is Life?

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Stories from Bukoba

I like engrossing myself in new cultures and getting to know the different life styles people live. I’ve always been intrigued by what other places look and feel like. One this one evening, I saw myself on a bus to Bukoba. The trip turned out so eventfully – an exciting way to spend festive days away from family.

As a twenty-four-hour wander luster, I find myself envisaging all kinds of places I would like to visit.

The history lover I am also found me reading about the Haya people of Tanzania, it was time to visit their place of origin. I was surprised to know that the Haya produced high-grade steel as back as 2050 years. I was curious as to what the locals thought of this history, and if the tools the Haya made with the steel were still in existence. With a thought that I could grab one for a souvenir off the trip.

Into the city I got, early enough to cover one activity as planned. First I booked a hotel for my stay, got a dalla-dalla I would call it a taxi if it were in my country to Mugana town. Where I hijacked a boda-boda. I first explained myself to the rider as I just wanted to go around seeing the caves I heard about.

Faisal- he asked to refer to him as Faisali was welcoming and ready to take me around.

Fortunately, he was a born of the area and even well conversant with it. It felt like the climax of it all, to tour with a child of the land! We rode to the wild as we talked about the life as an African.

We then started seeing the caves and he pointed at some in the remoteness. The caves are treated with high value as they act as shelter for the grazers. I was fascinated that nearly all the shelters face away from the sun, with only one getting direct sunlight in the morning. Each cave has a canopy that eerily resemble a front porch. This made me think the rocks were constructed and not as a result of denudation as Faisali told me. Also thinking of the ruins in South America and wondering how the ancient people hauled huge stones over many miles.

From a distance, Faisali also pointed at Our Lady of Lourdes catholic shrine. However he didn’t say much about it but emphasized it’s one of those old ones that tourists also visit. He, Faisali also said it’s located on another village (Nyakijoga) also around Bukoba.

Besides the historical buildings, Bukoba is well placed, at the shores of Lake Victoria (explaining the calm weather) and a breading place for a number of bird spices. If you love architectural wonders, Bukoba is full of them! It is the true definition of colonialism in East Africa. Old colonial houses decorate the town.

After an evening of just lazing around and enjoying some site seeing of the ancient houses and people’s way of life, I retired to the hotel to wait for the next day.I relaxed, settled in and went to the lobby to watch some news as I waited for dinner and sip some wine.

I was up early and was hungry (both metaphorically and literally). It was thoroughly relieving to know that in addition to lunch and snacks, breakfast was part of the hotel package. The early morning wind, bird watching, and the beautiful landscape views seemed part of the breakfast.

Was then ready for the day’s activity. To start with, it took me about forty five minutes to find a boda-boda rider who knew where the rock paintings in Bwajai are. Most of them said they had never heard of them, yet some had been born, beard, studied and now working there. This was the second time I was feeling important knowing a place natives have never heard of. We (Aziz-my rider and I) then traversed to the rocks via a small stream with a minor waterfall. The place is locally known as Kyabazaire (loosely meaning “a place for those who have given birth”). Aziz then explained how it acquired the name. ….. ‘back in the day, after a woman had given birth and the placenta refused to come out, they were made to lie under the waterfall to force out the “second child”. Aziz referred to the placenta as the ‘second child’. I wonder how healthy and effective that was.

Some rock paintings had however faded off as the place had been turned into a stone quarry. There was little to see but the story behind the stream covered up. The life style of the natives of Bwajai was yet some interesting information. Most of them are alcohol brewers. It is illegal to brew alcohol in Tanzania but people in this place do. The place is hidden and quit far from town so it’s hard to even tell humans live here. I found two youthful boys busy brewing…it was somewhat hard to get information from them as they thought we would be spies. We later befriended them and Tariq (one of them) now become our tour guide. I was offered a jug of bear. Enjoyed the drink as I was being taken fed by some history of the place. Made new friends and this made the whole visit existing. I would choose sole travelling anytime!

Plucked a page from my dairy!

Reading; The Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne and On the Genealogy of Morals by Friedrich Nietzsche, still. It’s not that I’m struggling, it’s just that I’ve gotten so far off track from my reading goals that I kinda gave up for a while. Now I’m trying again and this time instead of focusing on how many books I want to read for the whole year I decided to just focus on reading for at least 30 minutes a day, every day. Well, i have missed some days- many days by the way but read a reasonable number of books so far. I can read as slowly as I want. I can go back and reread chapters. I can spend as much time as I want in the introductions, the preface, and the prologue. I can enjoy the book my way as long as I do it for 30 minutes a day.

Watching Blackkklansman. The whole theater was in tears by the end and I’m still reflecting on the nuanced message. I believe Spike Lee was trying to express. I finally got around to seeing Avengers: Infinity War and I’m glad I waited because after that shocking end now I cannot wait for the next one!
I just finished up Adrift and it was by far the most riveting movie I’ve watched in a long time. I’m also watching Castle Rock, some horror series from Stephen King and feels like an episode of Avatar.

Fearing my future self. I’m afraid she will just be me, no different at all. May be better, not stronger, or kinder. I’m afraid of not changing, of not being able to change. I’m afraid that for as long as I live I’ll never get it quite right, never heal these wounds or grow thicker skin. I’m afraid that I will always be this sensitive and needing thing, trembling, mouth open and wailing.

Needing for one of these big life goals I’ve been striving for since forever to finally move from the “In Progress” column to the “Achieved” column. It feels like everything in my life, all my goals and every milestone I’ve tried to meet, has been all process and no matter how hard I try I never seem to get reach the end, the result, the completion on “the thing”. My “Achieved” column only has 4 items. I know the journey is supposed to be just as fulfilling as the destination and all, but I feel myself burning out. I need a good stopping point. I need a sense of accomplishment! But, maybe that’s just life. Maybe it’s me and my very human inability to never be satisfied. More likely, I’m not planning enough or following through. Or maybe I just need new life goals?

Learning how to manage my time better! These past few weeks I’ve worked out a compromise between the work I have to do and the work I want to do so that neither is taking up all of my energy and neither is subject to something so unpredictable and out of control as emotion or impulse. Of course, I know this system I’ve put together won’t work forever. My workload will change, my work location may change, my mood, my goals will change and the way I do things will have to change too. So, what I’m really learning is how to balance.

Hating the return of negativity to my life. But some days I’m dragged down into the thick of it with everyone else and it takes everything in me to claw my way back out.

Hoping my family can get back to feeling like a family again. We’ve been going through some hard times lately, nothing too bad, and nothing I don’t think we could get past, but my family has a talent for taking a small slight and turning it into a grave injustice. We’ve grown up, and grown closer, we forget there is still so much growing left to do.

So, yeah, all in all, the year is good so far. I have worked a lot, but it feels good, and I managed to get back to doing the things I love in a way that makes me feel better about who I am and where I am headed. Some things have not gone as planned but its well. I’m doing good and that all that matters.